Tag: guilt

On My Honor by Marion Dane Bauer (YA Fiction)

On My Honor

Marion Dane Bauer (YA Fiction)

Joel and Tony are about as different as night and day. Joel is honest, responsible, and cautious while Tony exaggerates, is unreliable, and reckless. Nothing illustrates this more than Tony’s latest idea to climb Starved Rock Bluffs. As Joel follows his friend on yet another insane adventure, things go from bad to worse when Joel breaks a promise to his father, tempers get heated, and a dare made in anger turns deadly. With Joel left alone to face the horrible consequences of his actions, how can he tell his parents the truth about what happened when he still can’t believe the truth himself.

Recipient of the Newbery Honor Book award in 1987, On My Honor deals with the difficult subjects of death, guilt, and remorse and is based on a real-life event involving the author’s childhood friend, Ralph. When Ralph and his friend decided to swim in the dirty and dangerous Vermillion River, Ralph’s friend—like Tony—goes under the water and never resurfaces. Like Joel, Ralph goes home and doesn’t tell a soul. On her website, Bauer describes the feelings she experienced when she found out about Ralph and his friend: “And I remember feeling at my very core what it must have felt like to be Ralph in that moment, to have something so terrible happen, to want so badly to go back and do a day over, to make different decisions, and to know that you could not do that . . . not ever.”

Bauer’s writing overflows with details and lavish descriptions that plunge the reader into a dark world of tragedy, shame, and the loss of innocence. It’s difficult to see a main character deal with such complex and complicated emotions, but when the protagonist is only 12, it’s even harder to grasp. Realizing that it was based on actual events makes the story even more painful to comprehend and process.

On describing her process for writing On My Honor, Bauer said, “I read stories because I want to feel. I want to remain warm and safe in my own life while struggling through someone else’s storm. I want to live, for a brief time, inside someone else’s skin. And stories are the only way I know to do that . . . writing them or reading them, either one.” At the end of the book, Joel’s father tries to reassure his son by saying that he couldn’t live his life by maybes. Maybe we can’t do a day over or take back the impact of words once they’re heard, but hopefully with authors like Marion Dane Bauer who provide us with stories about tragedy and loss, we CAN live in someone else’s skin and struggle through their storm while gaining knowledge and learning lessons under the warmth and safety of our own life.

Rating: 5/5

*Book cover image attributed to: www.abebooks.com

 NEW!! Want to share this book with your homeschooler or classroom? Download our affordable study guide by visiting https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Study-Guide-On-My-Honor-by-Marion-Dane-Bauer-11140704

All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven (YA)

All the Bright Places

All the Bright Places

Jennifer Niven (Young Adult Fiction)

“Is today a good day to die?”  Theodore Finch asks himself this question in the morning, during third period, and at supper.  He also counts the days that he is Awake.  Awake is good and safe and where he needs to be.  Violet Markey counts the days until graduation.  When she can begin a new life away from Bartlett, Indiana and the pain she feels every day since her sister died.  Both Finch and Violet are counting, but what they didn’t count on was meeting on the ledge at the top of the high school bell tower.  They didn’t count on wandering around their state discovering out-of-the-way landmarks and attractions.  Most of all, they didn’t count on falling in love.

All the Bright Places gives readers a gritty and honest look into bipolar disorder.  Told in alternating narratives by Finch and Violet, we experience bullying, loss, domestic abuse, suicide, and mental illness.  With so many disturbing and difficult topics, it is a testament to Niven that readers are given a story filled with laughter, love, and hope.  Through two fractured and flawed main characters, we see teenagers struggling to understand their place in the world and determined—despite all odds—to make their mark within it.

Young Adult Me liked the star-crossed relationship between Finch and Violet.  He was the Yin to her Yang and the two complemented one another well.  Finch’s fearlessness in approaching Violet about her loss enabled her to break free from her psychological prison and regain her independence.  Violet, in turn, acted as a compass giving Finch direction and much-needed stability.  However, Adult Me really had a problem with Finch’s family and how they chose to deal with his manic depression.  It seemed too easy and convenient to chalk up his behavior as quirky and weird and, “Oh, that’s just Finch.”  When he disappears for days, they dismiss it as, “He does that sometimes.”  This cavalier attitude seems a bit apathetic for a family already put through the wringer with divorce…and a nasty one at that.  During weekly visits with the Finch patriarch, it’s obvious that Finch’s condition is hereditary and one would think that his mother would be hesitant to turn a blind eye a second time around.  But in the end, Young Adult Me just told Adult Me to stop overthinking things and enjoy the story…so I did.

Niven gives us a raw and poignant story about two teens drowning in their own pools of mental anguish and personal guilt.  Whether by luck or fate, they find each other and extend the healing lifelines of forgiveness, acceptance, and love to each other.  Through them, we see that it is possible for life to go on no matter how impossible or improbable it may seem at the time.  Throughout their story, Finch and Violet express their need to feel relevant, their desire to matter, and their wish to be remembered.  By seeking out the hidden treasures within their own state (a backyard roller coaster, a shoe tree, or a book mobile park), the two begin to uncover their own self-worth that eventually allows a violet to bloom and a finch to fly.

Rating: 5/5

*Book cover image attributed to www.target.com

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We Were Here by Matt de la Peña (YA)

We Were Here

We Were Here     

Matt de la Peña (Young Adult Fiction)

I can sometimes make stuff happen just by thinking about it.  I try not to do it too much because my head mostly gets stuck on bad stuff, but this time something good actually happened: the judge only gave me a year in a group home.  Said I had to write in a journal so some counselor could try to figure out how I think.  Dude didn’t know I was probably gonna write a book anyways.  Or that it’s hard as hell bein’ at home these days, after what happened.  So when he gave out my sentence it was almost like he didn’t give me a sentence at all.

Miguel Castañeda had a plan for getting through his one-year sentence in a group home: write in his journal, keep to himself, pretend to call his mom every Sunday, and read every book on the home’s bookshelves.  Just be a ghost—invisible and non-existent.  That plan was changed when he was assigned to share his room with Rondell, a big black kid that was once his cellmate in Juvi.  And then there was Mong, a skinny, tough, and silent Chinese dude with scars on his cheeks and a psycho smile.  Suddenly a year seemed a whole lot longer.  And then one night, Mong asked Miguel to escape with him to Mexico.  Maybe a new start away from California is just what he needed.  Maybe it’s the clean start he so wanted.

We Were Here was one of those books that I kept checking out and returning—always meaning to read it but getting distracted by something else.  Shame on me for not giving de la Peña’s work the attention it deserved.  We Were Here is gritty, raw, candid, bleak, and insightful.  It’s also a stark reminder to never judge a book by its cover.  The author introduces us to kids like Miguel, Mong, Rondell, and others who have found themselves on the wrong side of the law for one reason or another.  Each has their own story and shows us how one wrong decision or personal tragedy can set off a series of events that ultimately lands them in a group home, juvenile detention, or jail.  We get to meet these kids and understand that many are more than the sum of their parts and just need what Miguel so urgently desires—a second chance.

We Were Here is filled with heart, honesty, and hope.  The characters are realistically portrayed and de la Peña avoids simply making them ethnic caricatures by giving them depth, warmth, a deep vulnerability, and an underlying desire to make honorable and decent choices.  Narrated by Miguel through a series of personal journal entries, this story demonstrates just how far the bands of friendship can be stretched without breaking and the value of choosing loyalty over personal desire.

Matt de la Peña opened his book with an excerpt from Denis Johnson’s “From a Berkeley Notebook” and I thought it would be an appropriate way to close this review.  It beautifully depicts Miguel’s personal transformation and how events in our own lives can make each of us strangers to ourselves:  “One changes so much/ from moment to moment/ that when one hugs/ oneself against the chill/ air at the inception of spring, at night,/ knees drawn to chin,/ he finds himself in the arms/ of a total stranger,/ the arms of one he might move/ away from on the dark playground.”

Rating: 5/5

*Book cover image attributed to www.goodreads.com

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